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爱黄娜丝袜 发表于 2022-8-23 06:03   只看TA 11楼
作者对气味描写的还是很细腻的，就是肉戏和舔脚的剧情有点太直接太粗暴了，主要是肉戏太短了，希望后面更新肉戏写的长一点。
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  • 逍遥夢 金币 +2 认真回复，奖励！ 2022-8-23 08:54
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Qixijiakele 发表于 2022-8-23 20:16   只看TA 12楼
给作者提个建议，正文部分的分段最好还是短一点，目前正文中每一段文字有点过多，看上去较为拥挤
推荐一段两到三行比较适合，超过四行就显得这一段太长了
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  • 逍遥夢 金币 +3 认真回复，奖励！ 2022-8-23 21:14
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